Introduction
The Imposter Syndrome was first described in 1978 by a group of researchers and was noticed to be common among both men and woman and age group. In other words it has been known for awhile and there are numerous research tackling this mental conundrum which apparently affects between 9% to 82% of people according to another research paper.
So what exactly is imposter syndrome? Or what are the signs to look for?
According to research it is an individual who struggle to accept their own progress or success in life. They have a sense of self-doubt and fear of being exposed as a fraud. They would often give credit to luck or others who helped them rather than accepting it is their own intelligence or skills. It unfortunately goes deeper than this. In more extreme cases the person might fear not meeting expectations, overachieve or even self sabotage themselves. This is very apparent in professional settings. In fact there was a research paper that says it seems to be highly prevalent and intense among high achieving women. That said half of other studies suggest there are no difference between the gender.
There are in fact over 60 studies and a high interest about imposter syndrome all over the internet but no clear treatment for it. Most of the articles suggest how to manage it and reprogram your mind to deal with the feeling of being fraud. Those research mention how imposter syndrome is prevalent among ethnic minorities, that it declines with age, burn out, job performance reduction, job satisfaction and increased depression and anxiety.
Despite the fact that a lot of people have the imposter syndrome and the proven evidence of how it can affect a person mentally, it is not considered a recognized psychiatric disorder. Last I checked, it is not featured in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual. It also not listed as a diagnosis in the International Classification of Diseases, Tenth Revision (ICD-10). Despite this Psychologists and others acknowledge this is a real and specific form of intellectual self-doubt that can lead to anxiety and, often, depression.
The scientific signs
Do you have people who considering you this? Perhaps skilled? Talented? Successful? Did you ever feel you did not deserve the acknowledgement, praise, academic level, promotion or just success in general?
Perhaps you have experienced the “imposter syndrome”? According to Caltech Counselling Center the definition of the Imposter Syndrome is a psychological phenomenon “a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist even in face of information that indicates that the opposite is true”
So why do I think I might have a high degree of imposter syndrome? I do not necessary lack confidence in my areas because I openly spam everyone about it. That suggests I should not have imposter syndrome? But contrary to the public display you probably missed a few clues. Let us analyse myself using The Imposter Cycle based on Clance (1985). Hopefully it will help you too.
The imposter Cycle starts with some type of achievement task which leads to anxiety, self doubt or worry. This leads to either procrastination or over preparation etc. This after feeling of relief and positive feedback becomes ignoring the feedback. This then leads to self-doubt etc.
Interestingly enough the repetition of success increases the issue rather than breaking the cycle of imposter syndrome. It is suggested that it is connected to failing if they do not overwork, their high expectation for their goals and own concept of ideal success. An imposter will ignore their own success if it is not according to their performance and ideal standard. All very true in my case. The fear of failure which tends to make them overwork. Also true for me.
In fact, research suggests (Clance 1985) that imposters secretly want to be the very best compared with their peers. Imposters are often successful early in life, especially in school. Also true in my case. In fact, it is not until after University they realize the amazing people and talents that actually exist, and they are not special. This results in them dismissing their own talent and conclude they are not really smart after all. Also true in my case.
My personal signs
After seeing a lot more people openly talk about Imposter Syndrome I started doing scientific research on it. And then I broke down my own life style, actions and choices which led me to conclude that it might be connected to imposter syndrome. Perhaps, a more extreme form.
Here is open but brief summary of what my self-analysis informed me about.
I have not one vocational degree. But two. I have not just a Bachelor Degree. I also have a Master. And I am secretly (not anymore) doing another master. I also have about 200 certificates to this date. And I have paid people to teach me stuff I already know, professionally and successfully done myself.
Why would I do that? Because I do not believe what I have previously achieved was my own doing. I do not think I am good enough. Despite practically, professionally and successfully doing things both career, entrepreneurship and academically.
I have changed career several times out of fear that I am not suppose to be doing it, that I am not the right person or because everyone else around me are better than me. While I am doing these things successfully by any normal standard. I am overworking myself. I am overachieving. Always.
Why would I do that? Because I feel like a fraud. I do not want to fail others. I want to be the best. Then I see someone better. And I put in the hours to not be seen as a fraud.
I have paid 100 000 thousand dollars to learn from others, despite having done it myself. I have paid thousands of dollars to have someone else show me something, despite getting comfortably paid to offer services myself.
Why would I do that? I think it was just luck. Luck that I got a contract. Luck that I got paid that well. Luck that it happen. It was not because I worked hard for it, sacrificed for it or went over and beyond to achieve it. No, it was not me. It was the person who helped me or luck. So, the more success the more unsure I get, the more afraid I am, the more I think I am fake and so I invest more into it to prove that I am not.
I get burned out because I do a lot, and I spend a lot of time doing it when I know others might do it for less. I will over prepare. To perfection. To the point that it has opposite effect. To the point that I even will post it online that I am either behind schedule or putting in a lot of hours to prepare something. So, I wake up earlier to make time, to keep up and not be the “imposter”.
Why would I do that? I think you get the idea. The list is pretty long of actual things I do, life style wise, daily and for most of my life that connects to the imposter syndrome. However, most people feel it I act on it to the extreme.
I normally do not write such personal things but I know Imposter Syndrome is a wide spread thing, and people who have it feel they are the only one who have it. So, I hope it gives some insight onto your own actions and how it connects.
Do not worry. Since then I have managed to let go a bit, okay with failing, comfortable not being the best and perfectly flawed. Maybe…kind of….erm..we will see.
Free Guide here https://impostersyndrome.com.au/index.php/the-free-guide/